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Most Embarrassing Moments.....

There was a World wide survey of "Most Embarrassing Moment in human life"and the final three incidents are ...... Third Place"It was the day before my eighteenth birthday. I was living at home, butmyparents had gone out for the evening, so I invited my girlfriend over for aromantic night alone. As we lay in bed after making love, we heard the telephone ringing downstairs. I suggested to my girlfriend that I givehera piggy-back ride to the phone. Since we didn't want to miss the call,we didn't have time to get dressed . When we got to the bottom of the stairs,the lights suddenly came on and a whole crowd of people yelled"SURPRISE!". My entire family, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and all of myfriends were standing there ! My girlfriend and I were frozen to the spotin a state of shock and embarrassment ! for what seemed like aneternity.Since then, no-one in my family has planned a surprise party again." Second Place (a lady) "While in line at the bank one afternoon, my kid decided to release somepent-up energy and started to run amuck. I was finally able to grab holdofher after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons. Itold her that if she didn't start behaving herself right now, she wouldbepunished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voicejustas threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma thatI saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee(dick) last night!".The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were doing ! I mustered the last of mydignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The last thing thatIheard as the door closed behind me were the screams of laughter."And the Winner Is..... This one actually happened at Harvard University in October last year. In abiology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levelsfoundin semen. A young female (freshman), raised her hand and asked, "If I understand what you are saying, there is a lot of glucose in malesemen,asin sugar?" "That's correct." responded the professor, going on to addmuchstatistical data. Raising her hand again, the sweet young thing asked,"Then why doesn't it taste sweet?". After a stunned silence, the wholeclass burst out laughing, the poor girl turned bright red and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied),shepicked up her books without a word and walked out of the class, andneverreturned.However, as she was going out of the door, the professor's reply was aclassic. Totally straight-faced, he answered her question, " It doesn'ttaste sweet because the taste-buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not in the back of your throat !

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