> Customer: "I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get
> through; can you help?"
> Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"
> Customer: "It's on the door of your business."
> Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
>
>
> Samsung Electronics
>
>
>
> Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
> Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
> about."
> Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly
> states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and
> telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for
Jack?"
>
> Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> RAC Motoring Services
>
>
>
> Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
> traveling in Australia ?"
> Operator: "Does the product name give you a clue?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
> "If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I
have
> to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> Directory Enquiries
> Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"
> Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling
> is correct?"
> Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell
> off the sign."
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
> Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
> Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in
> Scotland ."
>
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
box
> told a worried operator:
> "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number
> on."
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
> Customer: "OK."
> Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
> Customer: "No."
> Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
> Customer: "No."
> Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
> this point?"
> Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote
> 'click'."
>
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen,
> can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
> Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that
> I need it.
>
>
> So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back
> again?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this
> guy should have been promoted, not fired. This
>
>
> is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed
from
> a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the
> Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the
> WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
>
> Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
> (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
>
> Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
> Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
> Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
> the words went away."
> Operator: "Went away?"
> Caller: "They disappeared"
> Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
> Caller: "Nothing."
> Operator: "Nothing??"
> Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
> Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
> Caller: "How do I tell?"
> Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"
> Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
> Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
> screen?"
> Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept
> anything I type."
> Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
> Caller: "What's a monitor?"
> Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a
> TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when its on ? ?
> Caller: "I don't know."
> Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
> where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
> Caller: "Yes, I think so."
> Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
it's
> plugged into the wall.
> Caller: "Yes, it is."
> Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
> there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
> and find the other cable."
> Caller: "Okay, here it is."
> Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
securely
> into the back of your computer."
> Caller: "I can't reach."
> Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
> way over??"
> Caller: "Well, it's not because I don't have the right
angle
> -- it's because it's dark."
> Operator: "Dark??"
> Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light
I
> have is coming in from the window."
> Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
> Caller: "I can't."
> Operator: "No? Why not??"
> Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
> Operator: "A power .... A power failure ? Aha. Okay, we've got
> it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff
> that your computer came in??"
> Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack
it
> up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
> bought it from."
> Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
> Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
> them??"
> Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"
> through; can you help?"
> Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?"
> Customer: "It's on the door of your business."
> Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."
> +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
>
>
>
> Samsung Electronics
>
>
>
> Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
> Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking
> about."
> Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly
> states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and
> telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for
Jack?"
>
> Operator: "I think it means the telephone plug on the wall."
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> RAC Motoring Services
>
>
>
> Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am
> traveling in Australia ?"
> Operator: "Does the product name give you a clue?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe )
> "If I register my car in France , and then take it to England , do I
have
> to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> Directory Enquiries
> Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please"
> Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling
> is correct?"
> Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell
> off the sign."
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
> Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?"
> Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label -- Woven in
> Scotland ."
>
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone
box
> told a worried operator:
> "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number
> on."
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
> Customer: "OK."
> Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
> Customer: "No."
> Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
> Customer: "No."
> Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
> this point?"
> Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote
> 'click'."
>
>
>
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
> Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen,
> can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"
> Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that
> I need it.
>
>
> So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back
> again?"
> ----------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
>
> This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this
> guy should have been promoted, not fired. This
>
>
> is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed
from
> a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the
> Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the
> WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."
>
> Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
> (Now I know why they record these conversations!):
>
> Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?"
> Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
> Operator: "What sort of trouble??"
> Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
> the words went away."
> Operator: "Went away?"
> Caller: "They disappeared"
> Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
> Caller: "Nothing."
> Operator: "Nothing??"
> Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."
> Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??"
> Caller: "How do I tell?"
> Operator: "Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen??"
> Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?"
> Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the
> screen?"
> Caller: "There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept
> anything I type."
> Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??"
> Caller: "What's a monitor?"
> Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a
> TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when its on ? ?
> Caller: "I don't know."
> Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
> where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??"
> Caller: "Yes, I think so."
> Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
it's
> plugged into the wall.
> Caller: "Yes, it is."
> Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
> there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
> and find the other cable."
> Caller: "Okay, here it is."
> Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged
securely
> into the back of your computer."
> Caller: "I can't reach."
> Operator: "OK. Well, can you see if it is??"
> Caller: "No."
> Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean
> way over??"
> Caller: "Well, it's not because I don't have the right
angle
> -- it's because it's dark."
> Operator: "Dark??"
> Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light
I
> have is coming in from the window."
> Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then."
> Caller: "I can't."
> Operator: "No? Why not??"
> Caller: "Because there's a power failure."
> Operator: "A power .... A power failure ? Aha. Okay, we've got
> it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff
> that your computer came in??"
> Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
> Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack
it
> up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you
> bought it from."
> Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?"
> Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
> Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell
> them??"
> Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!!!"
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