TRUST
TRUST is a very important factor for all
relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to
suspicion,suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and
enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities
Board."
There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was
still no answer. When she was going to cut off the
line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is
PUB.Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered
with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please
share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never
criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she
does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could
not find a better husband than
you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally,
when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is
the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four
fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our
mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for
marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a
spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The
SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh,
good looking, polite, humorous , sporty,
knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to
accompany me the whole day at home during my
leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me
interesting stories when I need companion for
conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The
officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand
you need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be
found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the
husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at
the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship.
Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a
bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to
overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and
their
spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.
Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese
saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's
character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high
expectation on changing the spouse character will
cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning
that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation."
Many relationships break off because of wrong speech.
When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say
anything without considering if it would hurt the
other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their
construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to
date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you
married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should
appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed
for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg -
cannot be reversed.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple
bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them
ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides
them.
Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on
the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband
ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but
let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He
commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing
that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a
narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and
struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the
river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor
will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at
present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our
conscience is clear..
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A
man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily
hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered
the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the
hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the
crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up
from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck."
Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?"
The father went home & committed
suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first
before u lose your patience with someone u love.
Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the
difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes.
But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us
forever.
TRUST is a very important factor for all
relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to
suspicion,suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmity and
enmity may result in separation.
A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call. She answered, "Public Utilities
Board."
There was silence. She repeated, "PUB." There was
still no answer. When she was going to cut off the
line, she Heard a lady's voice, "Oh, so this is
PUB.Sorry, I got the number from my Husband's pocket but I do not know whose number it is."
Without mutual trust, just imagine what will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered
with just "hello" instead of "PUB".
NO POINTING FINGERS
A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please
share with me your secret?"
The father-in-law answered in a smile, "Never
criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she
does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could
not find a better husband than
you."
We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally,
when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. This is
the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four
fingers are pointing at ourselves.
If we forgive the others, others will ignore our
mistake too.
CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?
A person visited the government matchmaker for
marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a
spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one." The
SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh,
good looking, polite, humorous , sporty,
knowledgeable, good in singing and dancing. Willing to
accompany me the whole day at home during my
leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me
interesting stories when I need companion for
conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The
officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand
you need television."
There is a saying that a perfect match can only be
found between a blind wife and a deaf husband ,because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the
husband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at
the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship.
Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a
bed of roses. The nightmare begins.
NO OVERPOWERING
Many relationships fail because one party tries to
overpower another,or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and
their
spouses will change the bad habits after marriage.
Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese
saying which carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's
character."
It is not easy to change. Thus, having high
expectation on changing the spouse character will
cause disappointment and unpleasantness.
It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..
RIGHT SPEECH
There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning
that "A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation."
Many relationships break off because of wrong speech.
When a couple is too close with each other,we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say
anything without considering if it would hurt the
other party.
A friend and her millionaire husband visited their
construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to
date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you
married me.Otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered ,"You should
appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."
Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed
for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg -
cannot be reversed.
PERSONAL PERCEPTION
Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple
bought a donkey from the market. On the way home,a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them
ride on the donkey?"Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walked besides
them.
Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of family. How can the wife ride on
the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband
ride on the donkey.
Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the man ride on the donkey but
let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."
The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then, they met a young man. He
commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing
that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey and carried it on their shoulders.
It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a
narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and
struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the
river. You can never have everyone praise you, nor
will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not at
present, and never will be in the future.
Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our
conscience is clear..
BE PATIENT
This is a true story which happened in the States. A
man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, his three-year-old son was happily
hammering dents into the shiny paint of the truck. The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered
the little boy's hands into pulp as punishment. When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the
hospital.
Although the doctor tried desperately to save the
crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands. When the boy woke up
from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocently said, " Daddy,I'm sorry about your truck."
Then he asked, "but when are my fingers going to grow back?"
The father went home & committed
suicide.
Think about this story the next time someone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first
before u lose your patience with someone u love.
Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurt feelings often can't. Too often we fail to recognize the
difference between the person and the performance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge.
People make mistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes.
But the actions we take while in a rage will haunt us
forever.
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